Abuela, Change of Plans

From MiSoulLatino on August 6, 2012:

“¿M’ija, no tienes novio?”

This is usually the first, or the second question that my grandmother asks me every time I see her. However, when my grandfather was still alive (qué en paz descanse), he would dally a bit longer before he asked me the question. Usually he would tell me a story or two, and try to wind his own experiences into a good reason why I should think about settling down. The moral of the story was that I would be safer and happier if I could find a man to take care of me.

I am now flirting with 30, and I’m neither married nor have I borne children. I do, however, have a small collection of plants.

As I get older, the values and expectations of my grandparents increasingly weigh on me. I love and respect them and want them to be proud of me, but I don’t feel like I can make the sacrifices to fulfill their expectations. Yet, the idea that I should be married with children — that I should be someone’s wife, that my life should revolve around the needs of others — pop up in my thoughts more often then ever before.

Read more here.

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